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Things I have learn't about triathletes

Have you ever met a triathlete?


If you have you’ll know that they are a rare breed with their own quirky habits and unique ways of thinking. I’ve spent a good few years with all kinds of weird and wacky lycra clad tri characters and thought I’d share with you my findings…

  1. They refuse to take off their sunglasses. Ever. Glasses are a permanent fixture on any triathlete, even when it’s dark. And they are inside. Seriously what is that about?!

  2. Compression socks are totally cool and give you that edge on the track. Or in the supermarket. “Hey, that guy/girl (delete as appropriate) must be an awesome triathlete, check out those really cool long socks.” The said person wearing the socks doesn’t actually have any knowledge on the function of the really cool socks and is actually on their end of season break.

  3. They find it essential to engage in bike porn. Not sure about the spec of that bike? Buy a $17 magazine that has 3 pages (mainly pictures) and you’ll soon be in the know and can discuss with your fellow lycra clad triathlete friends.

  4. When it comes to drinking they are lightweights. Like serious lightweights.

  5. Talking about bowel movements is quite common and totally embraced. Triathletes are at one with nature, and proud of this. Some even take toilet paper on long runs.

  6. Every single triathlete has fallen off their bike when first using cleats. Every single one of them has stopped at that set of traffic lights or roundabout and failed to unclip. It’s part of the tri clan initiation, and if they tell you otherwise they are lying.

  7. The bike MUST be the most expensive thing they own. Including the car. And the house. It must also be the most important thing in their lives. Including the wife. Or the husband. And the children.

  8. Garmins are another essential. Even though no one knows how to use them. And they mean getting up for that morning run 20 minutes early to get GPS signal.

  9. They can’t survive without porridge and bananas. “What?! We haven’t got any banana’s left?! S@%t!!! I need a lie down.

  10. They enjoy lycra so much they even sleep in it. A triathlete without lycra is about as common as a cat flap on a submarine.

  11. If you’re not tired you’re not a triathlete. Fact.

  12. Following on from the above point; the more hours of training you can cram into a day the more heroic you are. If you don’t over train at least three times in your career you’re doing something wrong.

  13. Triathletes all get kicks out of passing that group of cyclists when out riding. “Coooooeeyyyy, I do 3 sports don’t you know?! I’ve already done an 8 hour run and 12km swim this morning, and yes, yes I am flying past you like you have your brakes on…”


If you have you’ll know that they are a rare breed with their own quirky habits and unique ways of thinking. I’ve spent a good few years with all kinds of weird and wacky lycra clad tri characters and thought I’d share with you my findings…

  1. They refuse to take off their sunglasses. Ever. Glasses are a permanent fixture on any triathlete, even when it’s dark. And they are inside. Seriously what is that about?!

  2. Compression socks are totally cool and give you that edge on the track. Or in the supermarket. “Hey, that guy/girl (delete as appropriate) must be an awesome triathlete, check out those really cool long socks.” The said person wearing the socks doesn’t actually have any knowledge on the function of the really cool socks and is actually on their end of season break.

  3. They find it essential to engage in bike porn. Not sure about the spec of that bike? Buy a $17 magazine that has 3 pages (mainly pictures) and you’ll soon be in the know and can discuss with your fellow lycra clad triathlete friends.

  4. When it comes to drinking they are lightweights. Like serious lightweights.

  5. Talking about bowel movements is quite common and totally embraced. Triathletes are at one with nature, and proud of this. Some even take toilet paper on long runs.

  6. Every single triathlete has fallen off their bike when first using cleats. Every single one of them has stopped at that set of traffic lights or roundabout and failed to unclip. It’s part of the tri clan initiation, and if they tell you otherwise they are lying.

  7. The bike MUST be the most expensive thing they own. Including the car. And the house. It must also be the most important thing in their lives. Including the wife. Or the husband. And the children.

  8. Garmins are another essential. Even though no one knows how to use them. And they mean getting up for that morning run 20 minutes early to get GPS signal.

  9. They can’t survive without porridge and bananas. “What?! We haven’t got any banana’s left?! S@%t!!! I need a lie down.

  10. They enjoy lycra so much they even sleep in it. A triathlete without lycra is about as common as a cat flap on a submarine.

  11. If you’re not tired you’re not a triathlete. Fact.

  12. Following on from the above point; the more hours of training you can cram into a day the more heroic you are. If you don’t over train at least three times in your career you’re doing something wrong.

  13. Triathletes all get kicks out of passing that group of cyclists when out riding. “Coooooeeyyyy, I do 3 sports don’t you know?! I’ve already done an 8 hour run and 12km swim this morning, and yes, yes I am flying past you like you have your brakes on…”

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