Updated: Oct 7
I’m not sure when it was or how it happened but it did. It’s happened on more than one occasion actually. It’s a bit sneaky though this fat business, it creeps up on you one day when you’re not looking – never walks up to you, shakes your hand and politely introduces itself, giving you the option to embrace it into your life or walk away. Damn that fat.
No one ever tells me when I get fat, they probably don’t notice. That’s a lie, one of my friends once noticed. When I mentioned I’d put on nearly a stone he nodded in agreement and said – “yeah Hev, I did notice”. Fair enough, honesty; I like that. He’s very honest this friend, that’s why we’re friends. You can’t hide from it when you get fat you see. Sometimes only the honest friend notices, chances are no one else does, but you do and you’re the biggest critic of all.
One day I got fat. Fat for who? Fat for a thin person? Fat for an athlete? Or just fat for me?
I don’t even know what fat is. One person would probably look at me and their blood would boil in response to me claiming to be fat. Another would probably nod in agreement and rather poke their eyes out with a rusty spoon than have my physique. That’s the thing about getting fat, it’s all relative. My fat is different to your fat, and I’m not saying I’ve ever been fat fat, but fat for me. And that’s fat enough because this makes me feel fat, which isn’t a nice feeling which means that being fat for me can’t be a good thing.
I grew up as a swimmer and I never thought about being fat or thin, never thought about food (except that I wanted it my mouth right now). I just ate. Lots. As a triathlete at university everyone talked about food. What are they going on about? How on earth can that person claim to be fat? They’re like 12 stone thinner than me. And I could definitely push that person over with my little finger. But then due a change in my training I lost a bit of weight, not masses but enough to make me run faster (faster for me) and that’s when I realised why these runner types were so obsessed by weight and being fat. Or at least this was one of the reasons. By far my favourite part of becoming a bit un-fat for me was when I developed an ab. I’m not sure anyone else could see the ab but it was there, for sure, and this was almost better than running faster. I liked my ab, it made me feel good. You hear athletes banging on about their weight all the time. Race weight and all that. My race weight is different to someone else’s race weight. And race weight is important especially when you’re racing. Race weight is good, as long as you’re healthy. But it’s your race weight no one else’s. To an extent weight is just a number.
My one ab definitely didn't look like this...
For someone of my height I’m pretty heavy, overweight the doctor might say, fat, and they’re always right these doctors with their BMI tests and all that. But if I’m fat then why are my clothes pretty small? (and I’m not just talking height wise), except skinny jeans but they have to be bigger because of my massive calves (I reckon these are the reason I’m heavy tbh). But you know, that’s the way it is, even when I’m thin for me my calves are big. They never like to get thin. I don’t really like them.
I don’t follow a ‘diet’. There are lots of them about aren’t there? I remember when the latest trend with athletes was Paleo. It’s not that I agree or disagree with it, I quite like the concept, I just don’t follow a caveman diet. Mainly because I live in a house, drive a car and enjoy wine too much. Since being an athlete and working in sport I’ve become more interested in food. I try and eat naturally, avoid all this processed mullarky. I eat well, even a paleo might agree. I rarely eat stuff that has a list of ingredients longer than my arm that I can’t even pronounce. I try to avoid margarine and vegetable oils but I do eat this stuff sometimes. And I do like cake. Proper cake with lots of naughtiness in it. Cake that makes me fat. But I only try and have naughtiness once a week. Except over Christmas, obviously. And on my birthday I’m allowed cake a few times.
Who doesn't love cake?!
One day I got fat. Fat to one person and thin to another.
Then one day I got thin. Thin for one person and fat to another.
But that’s irrelevant. What matters is the day I got fat for me because that doesn’t make me feel very good.
Sometimes I’m not even sure if I’m fat or thin. But as long as I’m not fat for me then I’m ok with that because it means I’m happy with myself.
And probably running pretty fast for me and developing my ab.